How to Survive Your Last High School Reunion

I’m not ashamed to admit the sudden uptick in my heartbeat at the mere sight of an email in my burner account. The message, brutal in its delivery – Cathedral Class of ’07 Reunion. Had it really been 10 years? I pause to glance around my room, as if I could comprehend the passage of time through atmospheric pressure alone. Unlikely, yes, and yet it still doesn’t feel like I’ve put enough distance between my life as it is now and the time I was imprisoned in what can only be described as Dante’s fifth circle of hell. Those less dramatic would call it high school. 

When Amazon Prime premiered a new Australian apocalyptic comedy about surviving the end of the world with old classmates specifically titled Class of ‘07, I had to check it out. If not for the wisdom I might gain, then at least for the secondhand nostalgia. So here’s how to survive your last high school reunion in 6 easy steps. 

1. If you see something, say something. 

At the start of this show, Zoe is a down-and-out 28-year-old living the remote life after being publicly humiliated on TV. She’s gone viral, and everyone she knows has seen the moment. She’s even a meme. What else could go wrong? During her self-wallowing, she notices water gushing from the earth – streams popping up everywhere, destroying her camp, so she packs it up and heads to higher ground. She heads up to the mountain her former high school is on, where she stumbles upon her high school reunion. Her meager attempts at a warning are quickly discarded for cocktails and a synchronized dance routine (you know, the usual.) It’s not until resident potheads Megan and Tegan are stranded in a highly elevated ocean that the others notice the apocalypse unfolding outside.  

2. Don’t strand the Debbie Downer out in the water.

As much as we’d like to think maturity would prevail, especially with a group of 28-year-olds, that is not the case here. Once the status of the world has been established, the girls quickly devolve into chaos. Resident Queen Bee Saskia is tapped to drop her newly found zen attitude and take charge. While viewed as necessary for morale, her first act was a bit drastic. With the help of Zoe, she carries the perpetually whiney exchange student Sandy out to the beach, where they leave her on a piece of driftwood, floating out to God only knows what. I cannot stress enough the importance of NOT giving into your baser instincts. Some actions are too catastrophic to be undone and will haunt you later.

3. For the love of carbs, check your entire perimeter for other survivors and food.

I’ve come to accept that graduating classes of 2007 could easily be defined by their self-centered attitudes. Personally, I thought we could be more thoughtful at times, but this is coming from someone who would have full-blown shouting matches with her bestie in the middle of between-class traffic. The point is if you find yourself, say, stranded on an island with few resources available to you, make sure to check the entire island before resorting to extreme measures. The girls realize the school nun, Sister Bicky, has been on the island the whole time. What’s more, she has a cottage with a garden and free-roaming chickens. After things get out of hand during Saskia’s reign, Sister Bicky’s introduction serves as much-needed guidance and enlightenment for the girls.

4. Accept the things you cannot change.

Throughout Class of ’07, much of the discourse is centered around Zoe’s two high school besties and her inability to bring them together. Ironically, it’s these two women who carry with them a ton of trauma from their last year at the school. Amelia, Zoe’s best mate since childhood, came to the reunion hoping to close the old wound of being abandoned by Zoe for Saskia, and to finally tell Zoe that she left school abruptly due to her mother’s passing. Now stranded, Amelia faces the reality of passed down mental illness and what she views as following in her mom’s footsteps. 

On the other end, Saskia is not coping with being in the same environment she was groomed in. Although she never uses those words, it is Sister Bicky’s confirmation of knowing this particular male teacher had a habit of selecting “favorites” and the ways she tried to intervene paint the fuller picture. As the weeks continue to pass on the island, both girls begin to accept the impact the adults had in their lives and how it’s shaped them.

5. Apologize for the things you’ve done. 

The amount of trauma trapped within the walls of these buildings we call schools is immeasurable. We are allowed to be immature jerks to one another with the understanding that we will grow and learn from this. But the truth is, what we experience as teens stays with us. It sticks to our hearts like plaque, slowly eating away at us until we decide to reach within and scrape off the buildup. The girls find they aren’t able to comfortably live with one another until they’ve aired everything out. Saskia takes the brunt of things because she was an awful human to each of the girls. She is quite literally put on trial, where the girls practice “TV law,” and all grievances are brought to the surface.  

6. Do not, under any circumstances, pretend to be a doctor!

So, you’re at your reunion, and folks haven’t seen you in years. The question turns to your career, but you are quite embarrassed. What do you do? Lie, naturally. Well friend, I’m going to advise against lying about being a doctor, especially at your last reunion. Sure, you don’t know it’s going to be your last one, but suddenly you find yourself in Renee’s shoes saying things like, “It’s doctor-patient congeniality”, calling speculums spatulas, and being unable to properly calculate gestation periods because “maths” were never your thing. Oh, and you just might needlessly cut off someone’s toe! If you must lie, stay away from the medical field and just say you’re in tech. No one can verify this without a wifi signal. 

Class of ’07 is a bingeable burst of nostalgia that gives us a refreshing perspective on the current apocalypse craze. Although not all characters are given quality layers – some by design – (like forgettable Laura), the overarching themes and messages about sisterhood and survival shine through. Add this to the list if you’re looking for an easy watch with heartfelt moments. 

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Created in a lab with the essential ingredients of sugar, sass, and all things spooky, Brea is a film geek with a soft spot for 1940s noir. Her life’s goal is to move to New Zealand and live like a hobbit.