Rookie of the Year: Your Invitation to Twin Peaks Fest 2012

The following is the latest in a series of journal entries chronicling the author’s descent into next-gen gaming degeneracy and assorted geekery – from getting his first television in years to trying to figure out why the @$@$&@@ you need two goddamn directional pads just to walk down an effing hallway.

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I love Twin Peaks.

In fact, I love Twin Peaks so much I have watched the series from start to finish at least three times, have forced at least three people to watch it through with me and own at least three copies of it.

I love Twin Peaks so much I have a complete set of Twin Peaks trading cards.

I love Twin Peaks so much I choreographed a dance to the opening theme music, and performed it multiple times for my friend Hannah while singing the names in the credits as if they were song lyrics.

I love Twin Peaks so much I bought a T-shirt with the floor of the black lodge stamped on it in the shape of an owl.

I love Twin Peaks so much I love not just parts, but ALL of Season 2 – including, and perhaps especially, Benjamin Horne’s Civil War reenactments.

I love Twin Peaks so much that I took a course largely based on it at grad school, and as a result never fail to miss an opportunity to explain to people in painstaking detail how every single good TV show since has had Twin Peaks to thank.

I love Twin Peaks so much I think Julee Cruise is a rock goddess, and secretly hope Angelo Badalamenti and I share a common Italian ancestor.

I love Twin Peaks so much I have DVRed guest spots the aging actors make on current shows like Law & Order and Psych.

I love Twin Peaks so much I nearly passed out when I realized Special Agent Dana Scully’s dad is Major Briggs.

I love Twin Peaks so much I agreed to watch Desperate Housewives every Sunday night with my ex-fiancée because Kyle MacLachlan was in it.

I love Twin Peaks so much I went shopping for a Windom-Earle-as-Log-Lady costume last week.

But most of all, I love Twin Peaks so much that tomorrow I am flying to Seattle, spending a couple of days there, renting a car and then driving to North Bend, Washington to attend the 20th annual Twin Peaks Festival.

Starting Friday morning, I’ll be providing daily updates on the goings-on in North Bend as Unwinnable’s unofficial Twin Peaks Fest correspondent. I’d have gladly been an “official” correspondent, had Stu been willing to foot my bill; as it is, I am working for free, which means I can drink as much as I want before sitting down to write.

Expect hijinks. Expect hilarity. Expect shenanigans of the highest order.

Since I’ll be staying one night at the lodge that provided the external shots for the Great Northern Hotel, and touring all the film locations in town, expect genuflection and assorted reverence.

And since my friend Hannah has agreed to come with me… expect a whole lot of singing and dancing!

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Matt Marrone is very excited because Deputy Hawk, who also had a bit part on an episode of The X-Files, is scheduled to be there. Stay tuned: Matt will be drooling on him all weekend! You can follow him on Twitter @thebigm.