The iPhone is Finally on Verizon: Why I’m Shouting it from the Rooftops

So the iPhone has come to Verizon. Hallelujah.

I’m not moved by this news. Not only am I grandfathered in to AT&T’s unlimited data plan (Verizon hasn’t formally announced one yet), but I’m in the early goings of a contract re-up and as someone who generally hates phone calls I have enough rollover minutes to permanently tether my phone to my office hot line and use it like a walkie-talkie if I wanted to.

But here’s why I do care.

As the resident tech geek for numerous friends and family members, the most asked question I’ve received in the four years since the first iPhone was released has consistently been, “When is the iPhone coming to Verizon?” Not, “Would you like this $100 bill?” or “Can I set you up with my cute friend Lindsay?” No, I’m the guy relied upon to address false rumors about a smartphone’s exclusivity or lack thereof.

So, in celebration of a long-awaited week in the history of telephony, a week that has been on the minds of the iCurious perhaps as far back as 2006, when Verizon foolishly turned down Apple’s offer to give them first dibs, I would like to say the following:

Mom, Dad, sisters, brother-in-law, future brother-in-law, other extended family members, editors, co-workers, friends, Facebook friends, friends of friends, friends of Facebook friends, Twitter followers, friends of Twitter followers, readers and other assorted acquaintances — THE iPHONE IS NOW ON VERIZON.

To answer the rest of your questions:

• It is available starting next month (Feb. 3 for current customers, Feb. 10 for everyone else).
• The phones and the plan cost about the same as they do on AT&T.
• It is not 4G.
• You cannot surf the Web and talk on the phone at the same time (though you’ll probably be able to complete a call, unlike on AT&T, so it basically evens out).
• You can’t use it in Europe.
• You can, however, tether up to five devices to it.
• It looks the same besides some very minor adjustments to the antenna.
• I have no idea when your contract is up or when you’re due for an upgrade.

Satisfied? Now, since we know you’ve been pining for it since Day 1, go out, for fuck’s sake, and buy the damn thing already.

~

Matt Marrone is wondering if you now want to know when the iPhone is coming to Sprint or T-Mobile, because God help you both if you do. Follow him on Twitter @TheBigM