Take My Hand

This column is a reprint from Unwinnable Monthly #189. If you like what you see, grab the magazine for less than ten dollars, or subscribe and get all future magazines for half price.

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What does digital grass feel like?

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The group chat has taken to calling it Horror June. Almost all of you are having a rough time, and it helps to give it a name. An easy way of saying, yeah, we’re all in this together.

For you, it is primarily a crisis of confidence. Everything you do seems to let somebody down, one way or another.

In the midst of this, three of you decide to climb a mountain.

SHORE

Peak begins with a plane crash. This is approximately how things feel in general. You step on a jellyfish. It catapults you into the air and poisons you. You feel the temptation to take this poorly – of course it was you, everyone knew you’d be the weak link in this mountaineering team before you even started.

Luckily, it is very funny.

You discover the hand-holding mechanic. Every time you see your friend reaching for you from the top of a ledge to give you that boost up it feels like the easiest metaphor in the world. The lack of subtlety does not make it any less impactful.

TROPICS

You fall. One of your friends points out that you could have caught yourself; turning to the ledge and clinging on the same as you would if you were climbing up. Later this same friend will upload a video of herself cascading down a huge cliff, latching onto the side once, twice, three times with perfect elegance. You know that you very simply are not able to do this. You are not good enough.

Of course, this doesn’t matter to her. She reaches down at the next ledge so that you don’t have to fall in the first place.

You get into a habit of trailing behind, not liking to make the decisions, the potentially wrong judgements of whether something is climbable, or if it leads to a dead end. You don’t want to let them down more than you already are.

ALPINE

There’s a cave here that your friends want to explore. You do not want to go in the cave, because you believe that it will necessitate backtracking, and a longer route means more chances for you to fuck everything up for the other two. But they are the leaders and you are the follower.

In the cave, one of your friends accidentally drops their backpack, and then herself, into the crevasse. This ultimately kills all of you. Of course you aren’t upset with her at all.

If it had been you, that would be a different matter.

SHORE

Your other friend has become obsessed with collecting seven full coconuts, leaving her with only a sliver of stamina not taken up by the weight penalty. It’s almost as if getting to the top is less important than goofing off and having fun.

You still feel a different kind of weight.

TROPICS

You fall. Your friends come and pick you up with bandages and first aid kits. Nobody is mad at you. Objectively, you burned through the resources that would have made the rest of this climb easier. What happens later will be your fault. Still, somehow, nobody is mad at you.

ALPINE

Nobody is mad at you. You’re here to have a good time with your friends. Nobody is mad at you.

CALDERA

You fall. When you die in Peak you get to be a little ghost that haunts the other players. When you get to a transition between areas you can get resurrected, although that won’t bring back any of the stuff that you lost. Nobody is mad at you.

THE KILN

The Kiln is a straight shot through the spout of a volcano. You can see the sky – the summit – but it’s a jumble of narrow paths and high ledges. All three of you don’t quite make it. You didn’t have enough resources.

SHORE

Avoid the jellyfish. Collect the coconuts. Take my hand. We’re going to the peak together.

TROPICS

It’s okay if you fall. We want to climb this mountain with you anyway. Follow me, I’ll show you the way.

ALPINE

Nobody is mad at you.

CALDERA

Grab my hand. We’re going to make it.

THE KILN

It’s okay. This part is really tough. But even though there’s no way to bring back a ghost from here, we’re taking you to the top. You’re still with us in spirit.

PEAK

Unlike the other two, you never technically make it. The game “rewards” you with a participation badge and a scruffy outfit. It is not mean spirited; it is funny. The game knows you don’t care about the mountain. You care about holding hands with your friends. And they care about you.

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Jay Castello is a freelance writer covering games and internet culture. If they’re not down a research rabbit hole you’ll probably find them taking bad photographs in the woods.