Apparently I Love Being a House Husband
This column is a reprint from Unwinnable Monthly #191. If you like what you see, grab the magazine for less than ten dollars, or subscribe and get all future magazines for half price.
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Here’s the Thing is where Rob dumps his random thoughts and strong opinions on all manner of nerdy subjects – from videogames and movies to board games and toys.
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Have I ever talked about my ongoing inability to figure out any kind of significant goal for my life? I can’t remember. Well, anyway, a long time ago I did manage to land my dream job (games writing) and then ended up hating it. After which point I mulled over various ideas for years until kind of deciding to give up on having a dream – not in a bleak way, though. Fast forward to now and I’ve got a smattering of remote jobs I do from home, but I’ve also been helping Diana with her art business and taking on a lot more housework. And here’s the absolutely wild thing: I kind of love it?
My job history is littered with examples of me eventually getting so used to my tasks that I start to get bored. Then, eventually, I begin to resent the job itself. Even jobs I initially like. Granted, a lot of the time it’s because the nature of the job or workplace changes (hello former doorman gig that got so bad in 2020 it convinced me to finally start going to therapy).
Still, mentally checking out of a job is an extremely common thing for me – to the point where it’s far more rare for me to stick with something. Incidentally I’ve been writing for Unwinnable since 2015, and plan to continue to do so until they ask me to leave, which probably tells you a lot about how much I like this place.
What I’m getting at is, no matter how enamored I might be with a job at first, I eventually get to a point where I stop feeling appreciated, challenged, fulfilled or respected. Sometimes a combination of a couple or all of those things. Not so in my current situation.
As someone who’s devoted an unreasonable amount of energy to hating cleaning tasks (looking at you, Starbucks), I first approached my extensive list of additional chores cautiously. Obviously, it would drive me up the wall – which I’d then have to clean – to try and do all of them on the same day, but having a spreadsheet full of tasks broken up into weekly, bi-weekly, monthly and quarterly tasks? That’s not so bad. And it turns out, tackling them two or three at a time on a given day makes it so manageable I can juggle things like laundry and toilet cleansing with other important stuff.
Said important stuff includes things like printing, well, prints of Diana’s work for sale on her Big Cartel shop, gathering product (magnets, pins, etc) for wholesale orders, trimming and sleeving prints for consignment requests, prepping for selling at NYCC and so on. It’s a lot to do while also trying to stay on top of the dust and debris physical spaces that aren’t hermetically sealed are prone to accumulating.
Oh, and taking care of our two cats. Scheduled feeding (otherwise they’ll definitely mutiny), scratching butts to get rid of all that excess itchy fur, feeding (no really, they might murder us), breaking up squabbles, doting on Astrid when she gets into One Of Her Moods, feeding (seriously send help)…
It’s the kind of daily grind that probably sounds exhausting, and maybe even a little aggravating. Heck, I’d have probably thought so too if that’s what I knew to expect when we mutually agreed that it would make sense and be helpful to everyone if I started doing more of this kinda stuff. And yet, here I am legitimately enjoying all of it.
Sure, there are moments of irritation when something doesn’t go as planned, too many important jobs overlap at the same time or an unexpected deluge of activity forces me to put my initial plans on hold, but there’s also this sense of accomplishment; of fulfillment; of purpose that I don’t remember ever feeling with any of my previous jobs.
Practically none of what I do is permanent – what’s clean will eventually get dirty again, dozens of prints will eventually sell and need to be restocked, the cats will hunger once more (oh dear god why has nobody sent help) – but for once in my working life that doesn’t bother me at all. I know I’ll have to scrub the range top again next week, but for now I can take pride in seeing how bright it looks right after I finish. There will always be another Big Cartel order to put together, but each one I package up is one less thing that Diana has to worry about. Plus, the folks who live with Diana’s art tend to really appreciate it, and that means a lot, too.
I can’t say with any amount of certainty that this is what I want my life to be forevermore, like as a career or something, but I am happy. I’m happy knowing that what I do matters, because it largely helps Diana by giving her fewer burdens and more time to spend on the art she loves making. With the added bonus of feeling immensely satisfied with my accomplishments every time. I continue to get a kick out of trying to surprise her by finishing all the laundry before she gets home from her day job, or accomplishing a large number of chores by the end of the day. I guess I kinda make a game out of it?
After spending an unhealthy amount of time constantly worrying about whether or not I’ll be able to make enough money in a given month or if I’ve actually done enough work to justify my existence, being able to lay in bed at the end of the night feeling like I made a difference in our home – even a temporary one – is amazing.
Kinda makes me wish we’d tried this sooner, to be honest.
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Rob Rich is a guy who’s loved nerdy stuff since the 80s, from videogames to Anime to Godzilla to Power Rangers toys to Transformers, and has had the good fortune of being able to write about them all. He’s also editor for the Games section of Exploits! You can still find him on Bluesky and Mastodon.
