7 Habits to Blame for Your Loneliness
People are constantly complaining about how lonely they are and that nobody loves them. Who is to blame for it? Of course, every person is responsible for his or her happiness and misery. We don’t know how to find the love of your life but we know what one should do to keep dear people around. Here we speak not about love but mostly about interpersonal relationships. In the long run, even the most inveterate cynics and egoists will suffer from their loneliness. It’s OK to want to be alone at times but not to live the whole life in solitude. However sweet it may sound, you should fight your loneliness. To help you, YesDates.com made up a list of habits you should get rid of.
Giving advice, you put yourself above other people. Irrespective of how broad your experience is, people don’t give a thing to it. Most people don’t need your “help”. They want to talk, they want to be heard, but they don’t want to listen to your tips on how to live a better life. Moreover, you shouldn’t overestimate your persuasion skills. Constant moralizing tires people out, so they will avoid your company.
Selfishness at a terminal stage
Stop to think that you are the most important person in the world. Stop focusing only on your desires. People need reciprocity and your attention. They also want to be cared for. Unless you do something to your selfishness, being lonely is your natural state.
Very often, things don’t go the way we want them to. You should just accept it. Otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your life complaining, criticizing, and moaning. No one likes killjoys. If they are invited to join a group of people, those people usually do it out of pity or with a particular aim. Communication is about talking about pleasant things and sharing good memories – not about listening that life sucks. Among two interlocutors or a group of people, you are the one who complains – others have a quite positive outlook. Gradually, others start viewing you as an ever-discontented loser.
Sex is a great thing and the abundance of sexual partners hasn’t hurt anyone. However, there is a limit to everything. Living the life of a womanizer, you start viewing women as the tools for satisfying your lust. It seems to you that you figured out their essence. This is the extreme form of cynicism. Having slept with dozens of women, you lost the opportunity of revealing your sexuality in a relationship. Now, it seems to you insipid and boring.
Creating an ideal
An ideal is something you create in your fantasies and it is rarely close to reality. Theoretically, if you don’t have your head in the clouds but take a sober view of things, you can find your ideal or almost ideal woman. You can try to look for your ideal, but you take the risk of spending your whole life searching.
Creating ideals is a big mistake because it narrows the world outlook. Your brain sees only what you taught it to see while nobody knows what is better for you.
It’s possible to program yourself for loneliness by suggesting this idea to yourself. When you feel desperate and abandoned, it starts to seem it will always be this way. You even learn to accept this state of things, still feeling miserable deep down. There will be bright days yet. You just need to let people into your life.
They say we are met by clothes. Now, let’s return to the ideals. Have you ever seen people who dream about an untidy, homely person with greasy unwashed hair? Your careless attitude to your appearance and personality alienates you from people around you. Try to start changing from the outside.